Stressed.
I am desperate for help in math. Really desperate. I don’t know how to describe the feeling, but I’m utterly desperate for help. Like BIG TIME ! You get what I mean ? Yeah, on integration and graphs of functions. Those two topics are my weakest, plus that parametric thing. GASP ! It’s killing my brain cells. I’m starting to panic cause the exam is not too far away, just in 2-3 weeks time on the 21st August. Please, someone answer my cry of desperation ! Sighs. I’m really very scared to fail my math exam, then I have to retake that module next year. URGH ! I don’t want that to happen.
Okay, my laptop is making lots of funny noises. I think it’s going to spoil soon, and my parents probably will kill me for that. Sighs. I have no choice but to go for the Paddles@Marina this coming wednesday. Haiz, I wanta to spend the time studying la. Grrrrr, waste of my precious time can ? Haiz. Never mind, I’ll try to finish what I can after my lecture on that day. I have like, about four and a half hours to finish whatever work I have, and do a bit of studying.
I hope that Dr Xu remembers to arrange the extra tutorials for me during the 2-week exam break. If not, I’ll definitely be dead.
You know what ? I’m frustrated with myself cause I’m not able to do simple integration math and the graphs of functions. Sighs, how dumb can I get ? That’s why I’m so panicky now. Urgh, okay.
Don’t panic, don’t panic. You can always ask Mr KuanKo ! 
& there’s math tutorial tmr, so can ask him. No need to be shy, just ask. Or you’ll die.
But it’s like, I don’t know how to do the entire tutorial on the graphs of functions ! He’ll kill me for not listening during lectures. But I don’t know what’s going on when he’s doing the examples. SO ? That means he don’t know how to teach ! All the more he should help you ! Go ask him tmr or I’ll be the one killing you !
Got to go. Byebye !
Sandra.
durians & new baby nephew
I love my aunty!! She got me my favourite durians to munch on today Yumyum. Every bite I took was just heavenly. It melted in my mouth, and I went,”Oooooh…” Hur Anyway, my new baby nephew just came into this world at 7.08pm just now. What a lovely bundle. I can’t imagine that I was once like that swaddled in a pink blanket, in the hospital crib, under some light cause I had jaundice. Sighs, I wish I were still at that stage, and not be bothered by the problems of today.
Kor’s friend is here, and they’re aren’t using the computer to play games, which is totally amazing ! BUT instead, they’re fixing up my brother’s computer. I wonder what’s with guys and technology these past few generations ?! Haiz.
Okay, got to study. Byebye !
stressed.
I’m the only one who failed all my modules for the common tests in my class. How pathetic. This means I have to work triply hard now. All right, I just sent Dr Xu my timetable for him to arrange extra tutorials for me. Thanks a lot. I really need a tonne of help in math and chemistry. It’s kiling me. & I have no idea how I failed my microbiology A ! I really don’t know what I did wrong ! I couldn’t have failed my microA please ! I should have at least gotten a C, NOT A FAIL. That’s the whole point. I studied my microA, and it shouldn’t be a problem ! Urgh, I think I’ll pay to open up my paper la. Haiz, so ma fan ! Sheesh.
Sandra.
Missed school yesterday, cause I was sick. Couldn’…
Missed school yesterday, cause I was sick. Couldn’t sleep the entire night. Kept tossing & turning in bed with the fan at full blast, and I was still perspiring like hell. I felt really hot, like I’m really close to a fire. Got out of bed and took my temperature – 38.8 degrees. Vomitted, and went back to get some much-needed sleep. The night was so long, I was wondering when I could see some light. I had plenty of nightmares, and was hallucinating. Woke up at 6.45am, and took my temperature again. 38.6 degrees. Tried drinking cold water to bring the temperature down further. No use. Forced myself to walk to the doctor’s. Got some poison for myself. Rarr, and the doctor gave me anarex [paracetamol] la ! I hate that super strong thing, whatever you call it. I took one tablet of that, and it was super huge. I had trouble swallowing it. I had to drink one cup of orange juice before the tablet finally went down my oesophagus. And it left a super strong bitter taste in my mouth, I nearly vomitted the medicine out. Took another orange tablet. That orange one is my friend, cause it’s small and it’s my favourite colour. Anyway, I took it & it disappeared down my stubborn throat ! Like wow !
Went to sleep, and woke up again. Tried doing my math. No use. Took my temperature. 38.4 degrees. Funny thing was that my temperature was decreasing at a constant rate of 0.2 degrees. That’s something mad !
Okay, fell asleep at like, 9.30pm yesterday night. And I didn’t wake up till this morning at 9. Come to think of it, I was so tired, I didn’t even brush my teeth ! Disgusting pig, & another reason why I went to sleep was because I was shivering like someone just threw me into the arctic waters and left me there for 15 minutes before taking me out again. Even though my quilt was rather thick, I couldn’t stop shivering for 45 minutes.
So here I am, trying to figure my math, and researching on the project. But I can’t really think now. So yeah. I think I’m sick cause I think too much about school and work. Dr Xu wants me to go see him on monday. He says I didn’t do too well for the common tests. So I guess he wants to know why.
Anyway, what’s going on in my mind right now, is nothing. It’s completely blank, so I think that whatever I’m typing here doesn’t make sense at all, so I’m sorry. I’m just not thinking straight. My head hurts a lot. I just wanta sleep. There’s bulging eyebags, and I look like a gorilla.
Gonna meet Gillian later. I hope I have the energy to walk across to meet her to study, cause I really don’t feel that fantastic right now. Maybe it’s the disgusting medicine I took just now. Three horrible tablets and one yucky spoonful of cough syrup. Eeeyer. It’s left me feeling really drowsy and delirious.
Okay, I’d better hop off now & do some solid work. [IF I AM ABLE TO !] & I HATE CHEMISTRY ! Period.
Sandra.
P.S. Sufyan: I’ll try to reply you soon, when I’m better. Yeah, by the way, thanks for hearing me out & helping !
Xiangwei: Hey there ! I’ll relink you soon. Yup !
like hello?!?!
I think I won’t blog much from now on cause I’ve come to the conclusion that if you wanta know what’s going on in my life, then talk to me.
I don’t know how I’m going to cope with school cause I’m honestly quite scared of facing the workload and all that reading I’m going to have to do, but I know for sure that this is where God wants me now, and that He’ll see me through this (: Every step of the way ! So one step at a time 
He’ll see you through too ! Whoever’s reading this (:
Now I need the concentration & focus to study, & for some reason, I can’t seem to get that SHINE song outta my head ever since the dance thing at Sentosa last saturday 
Oh wells, I’ll find some way to get it out.
& I’m really losing my patience with some people!
I’m going to miss the IJ Band in concert at Botanical Gardens this thursday due to training. Rarr, I really wanta go & watch them perform ! -.-” Never mind, there’s always next next year when they get another gold for SYF, then they can perform again !
Okay, that’s all for now. Buhbye…
Sandra.
failed.
I failed math common test. It’s time to start working hard, and not be super slack. Wake up Sandra, you’re lagging behind time! Pay attention, pay attention!
& yeah, I don’t think I’ll be able to make it for training tmr. Why?! Because something happened, which caused someone in my family to land up in the stupid hospital A&E. Urgh… Sickening. I want to go I want to go tmr. Oh well, wednesday then… Sighs, & I just remembered that I’m afraid of running. -.-”
Sandra.
i can’t stand it any longer.
I really can’t stand the way you act.
I really hate the way you treat people like they’re a piece of shit.
I can’t stand the way you think that you’re mature, but yet again, you’re NOT!
It’s funny to think that I have friends like you.
Sometimes, you just gotta have your ego bruised.
But you know what?!
I’ve concluded that people who think they’re mature, actually aren’t..
& people who aren’t mature [as seen by others] are much more mature than those who think that they are themselves.
My point of view..
Don’t get the wrong idea..
Anyway, I can’t help it if you do.
Too bad for me then.
Sentosa soon! Supposed to leave, like now. But oh wells. Hafta wait for my dad to come back first, & he’s taking a super long time doing God-knows-what!! Haiz.. I’ll be late, really late because of him.
Stupid brother really is annoying. Hur, now I know that ALL guys with the name SHAUN are damn bloody irritating. 气死我了. HAIZ. Never mind, I shall just tolerate.
Sandra.
COMMON TESTS.
It’s midway through the common test week, & I’m surviving. PhChem & InChem papers down, and two more to go. Sighs, I screwed those two papers up by guessing in the multiple choice. “/ Oh well, I had no other choice. My mind was totally blank even though I studied. And the worst thing was that the test was reather easy! I just… konked out at the last moment. Sighs.
My shoulders are cracking each time I do something with my arms or turn behind. It’s like, c-r-a-c-k! Ahh never mind. That reminds me, I’ve developed a fear of running. Just as I have a fear of balls. You know?! Basketballs, netballs, tennis balls, golf balls, volleyballs, ping pong balls etc. I’m just very scared of running!! Urgh…
“The biggest fear is to conquer all your fears.”
Oh, and yeah. Backtracking to the one star kayaking thing last thursday & friday. Hurhur, I got a nightmare after that. Hahaha! On day 1, they asked us to capsize the kayak and tap the hull thrice, and then resurface. And on friday night, I dreamt that I capsized the kayak, and started tapping the air thrice! Well, I thought I was tapping the hull of the kayak okay! Rarr, and my brother happened to see me tapping the air la! Heh, how funnaye Don’t laugh la! Hurhur.
Okay, I feel like vomiting now. :S Sighs. Math common test tomorrow! CCC at 3pm tmr as well. Haiz. MicroA test on thursday. FAINTS! -.-”
Sandra.
KAYAK :D
Kayaking course early tomorrow morning at Changi. 9.30am to 4pm. Oh man! I hope I can wake up. Sighs, I think I’ll be an indian after tomorrow & friday’s kayaking course?! -.-” Oh well. Who cares?! I hope I’ll survive. [Of course you will...]
Kept hitting Huiping at training today. Urgh, and I don’t know why!!!!! Maybe I was too fast for her? Enlighten me please. I really don’t know why I kept hitting her. Rarr! I guess she was quite pissed at me, but sighs. & I felt quite lerthargic the entire two hours. Never mind. We rocked the boat for some fun. Hur! The boat was filled with A LOT of water, and we were screaming all the way! Heh & for some reason, I couldn’t balance myself at all today. I was walking like some siao zabo. I came out of the boat, and I just totally lost my balance. I felt like I was still on the boat. Roars! I couldn’t walk straight laa. Hur, okays.
I’m tired. I need to wake up at 6.45 tomorrow morning, just to reach Bedok in time! Sian… I just wanta catch up on my sleep. I’m lacking on it. Why? Beacuse I’ve been sleeping at 4plus a.m. the past three days :S
Never mind, for once, I shall sleep at 12 today. Heh heh “/
Buhbye.
[I've got no appetite to eat, but I'm forced to eat. URGH, I hate food. I can't imgine I actually spent THREE hours trying to finish my dinner tonight, when I usually take 20 minutes? I'm mad. I'm craving for cadbury chocolates now. I'll get it tomorrow if I have the time! Rarr...]
i’m frustrated.
I’m frustrated with myself. I’m frustrated with everybody. i’m frustrated with my poor memory. I’m frustrated with your attitude. You know who you are, so don’t deny it. I really hate that you’re acting like a total irritant who’s out trying to irritate me. I’m being very patient & trying to control myself. Sighs, I shall try to bear no grudges against anyone.
I’m getting all panicky for the common tests which are like, next week. I really am afraid that I might not be able to get through poly life. I’m afraid that I might get kicked out of school because I failed my exams/tests.
HEY!! Remember what you learnt at the camp. The greatest fear is NOT believing in yourself. Conquer that fear, or you won’t be able to do anything right.
